James Kent Law - LTD

Long work hours which occur with alarming regularity are regarded as one of the classic signs of a cheating spouse. What makes it so hard to pin down however is that in this day and age with money being too tight to mention, it is at times an absolute necessity to put in overtime, go in on weekends or even your day off. Most families just to make ends meet require that both spouses work.

But whether good times or bad, the office has always been one of the prime meeting places for singles and married alike. In his article, “The Ugly Side of Office Relationships”, Francis K. Githinji writes, “An office is always a fertile ground for working colleagues to hit it off in a relationship. It is a place where you are bound to meet new people who will always be within your proximity.”

Proximity is the key word here. If familiarity breeds contempt, it can also give rise to enticement. The majority of spouses that cheat on their partner do not consciously take a job in the hopes of having an extramarital affair but it happens anyway. Working closely with someone allows you to observe them under a whole host of circumstances. How they react to high pressure situations, how they communicate and treat others, their attitude and professionalism toward their job and well as other factors.

A coworker will also see that person when they are relaxed and more than likely will also be exposed to that person’s sense of humor. That goes a long way to forging a bond. It many ways a good sense of humor is allowing people into your world. If a spouse and one of the co workers have the same sense of humor, than the connection becomes that much closer.

A few generations ago office romances were not only frowned upon but actively discouraged. That of course didn’t stop them from taking place. Now it seems the work environment has changed one hundred eighty degrees. In a CNN study done earlier this year forty percent acknowledged that they have had an office romance at one time or another. The astounding part of this survey was that sixty six percent felt there was no need to hide the relationship.

Unless they want a divorce, it’s practically a given that a cheating spouse will not come forward and declare publicly their extra marital affair. But in some ways they don’t have to. The old saying “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” can also apply to the office. Every work environment has a unique culture of its own with different levels of loyalty. Many coworkers may know what’s going on but they don’t feel it is anybody’s concern; including the offended parties. The motto whether spoken or not is if you don’t work here, then it’s none of your business. In other words their first loyalty is toward their coworker.

The majority of spouses go to work to work. They maintain their professionalism and save intimacy exclusively for their marriage. They also take seriously their wedding vows as well as the trust they have in themselves and their partner. Unfortunately for many others, the temptation is too great to resist. Being around someone they find physically and emotionally attractive 8 plus hours a day for 5 days out of the week puts their significant other at an unfair advantage.

Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen

When I’m deciding what to write about, , I use several methods. Our local judge, who I affectionately and irreverently call “Judgipoo” often inspires me. He might not be real happy to know what a net presence I’m giving him. Other judges and colleagues often do things that find their way to my pen, or keyboard if we’re going to be less poetic about it.

Today, I turned to Google for a subject on which I could wax profound, or at least marginally interesting. There are plenty of topics I could cover about blended families, divorce, custody, and other subjects that are represented on my site. I’ll write about those, but none resonated with me tonight.

Like the rest of the country, I find that one person’s extra-marital activities seemed to beg to be the subject of the day. That is, of course, our old friend, Tiger Woods.

It is a sad fact of the human condition that no one is perfect. We still admire famous people, and hope they haven’t been involved in any peccadillos that would tarnish their image. I had never heard anything bad about Tiger, until after his accident. It seemed to me that once that happened, the media picked at him until all of his nasty little secrets became public.

Now a waitress? from Las Vegas is mad because Tiger wasn’t only cheating on his wife with her, but was cheating with a number of other ladies as well. It doesn’t occur to her that maybe Tiger wasn’t so hot about fidelity, and that maybe if the wife couldn’t trust him, she shouldn’t either.

In any event, this drama is far from over. Even as I was writing this article, MSNBC was singing about the sponsors who were dumping Tiger because his image wasn’t as wholesome as they would have it be. I feel sorry for his wife. She would have to be embarrassed. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the 9 women who last count had enjoyed Tiger’s attentions. After all, they knew he had gone through that funny little ceremony called a wedding, and logic would dictate that his favors weren’t likely to be exclusive.

I also have some sympathy for his fans. I can remember how shocked and disappointed I was when I found out that the Beatles were human. I was just ten when they admitted taking LSD, and I was in high school when John Lennon married Yoko Ono, after his divorce from Cynthia. You have to understand that when I was younger, she seemed like the luckiest woman in the world, and I couldn’t imagine that John was anything but a loving, loyal husband.

I’m sure O.J. Simpson disappointed a lot of people who liked him and rented cars from Hertz because he told them it was the way to go. I think he did it, how about you? I can imagine a lot of people, probably including Hillary, would have been happy if Bill’s extra marital activities hadn’t been the subject of a national scandal. Chris Brown, Mel Gibson and Colby Bryant would certainly have preferred that their contributions to the seamier side of our culture had remained anonomous.

The odd thing is that I haven’t mentioned any person except O.J. whose public scandals are unheard of in every day life. In O. J.’s case, trying to steal sports memoribilia isn’t so abnormal, but chopping his ex’s head off was a bit extreme. However, Chris Brown’s and Colby Bryant’s violent behavior is all too common. Ditto, Bill’s and Tiger’s affairs.

The thing is, should these careers be destroyed or damaged? After all, we wouldn’t ask our car mechanic if he / she cheated on taxes or lied to his / her significant other. We wouldn’t expect any information about our doctor, except that he /she was good at medicine and could treat our ailments effectively. John Lennon didn’t really owe us his personal life. His brilliance as a musician was enough of a contribution to society. Bill Clinton may have had 2,000 affairs, but as long as he led our country effectively, we wouldn’t have much room to gripe.

Still, when celebrity misbehavior becomes public, it does effect all of us, and there is a big part of our hearts that wish they would let us continue thinking of them as angels.